Mom was thin, very thin, not at all like me. I’m fat, aka The Fattest of Them All. My name is Donald. I will never forgive her for my name. Well, anyway, my mom and I aren’t friends, let’s just say.
Let’s talk about me for a second: I love junk food, unlike my insane mother. Especially Fritos. Yum. I can just taste them now. A little more about my mother now. As I’ve already told you, she’s skinny, only 24 lbs to be exact.
So, one mysterious day in our town of Tucson, Arizona, I was walking to my enormously boring high school when my mother text messaged my cell phone, saying she wouldn’t be home when I got home (like I cared).
My classes were so boring as usual. The teachers yelled at me and I got only five detentions (that’s a record!). By the end of school, I was practically dead from boredom.
Step after step after step, I walked home, slowly. But unfortunately, I ran into my – you can probably guess – mother. She was crying. She had just gone to an interview at a yoga school and had seen a circle. You see, she gets scared when she sees circles.
Suddenly, I felt a soft spot. I said, “Mom, it’s okay.” Mom answered, “What are you doing? I thought you hated me.” Oddly, I was happy hugging my mother.