This piece originally ran in Read This!, a literary magazine written and edited by high school students from San Lorenzo High School, ranging in age from 14 to 18 years old. This issue of Read This! was designed at 826 Valencia with the help of our tutors and volunteers.
I came home and ran up to my room. I shoved may face into my soft white pillow and soaked it with tears. I can’t believe she’s gone. Everything happened so fast. She was just here. I just kissed her goodbye. I just talked to her on the phone. I just said I love you. You’re gone and you’re never coming back. It was another day today. My life was happy and fulfilled. I’ll give everything I have to have you back. Just come back. You were my best friend. You are my best friend. Why did you do this to me??!! They pulled me out of class and took me to the principal’s office. They asked if I was thirsty and told me to have a seat. They were quiet forever. There was the principal, your mom, my mom, and the police. “Something horrible has happened to Jamie,” they said. What do you mean something horrible? Why did you do this to me?? They told me how you died. They told me how you were in a rush to get to school. How you drove so fast so you wouldn’t be late for the first time in your life. They told me how you were on the phone calling the school to tell them that you would be a little late. They told me how you slowed down at the light to turn into our school. And then from nowhere a pick up truck runs into you from nowhere. You died instantly. I can’t go on. You were my best friend. You separated us but you were still my best friend. I’m sorry. This is your entire fault. Why aren’t you here? You weren’t supposed to leave. No one was supposed to leave. It’s all my fault! I have Bobby, but where’s Jamie? I need you, Jamie. Come back! I’d give up everything! Come back! I’ll promise to talk to you. I’ll do whatever you want. Just come back to me! Please. I look around my room and I see no happiness. I look at the picture of you and me together our sophomore year. Standing around the rest of our clique. But it was still you and I. It was always me and you. But now there’s only me! Who am I supposed to hang out with? Who am I supposed to call when Bobby and me get into a fight? My mom keeps telling me everything will be alright. But I just lost my best friend. How can everything be alright? Nothing will ever be alright! It’s all your fault. It’s all my fault. I can’t go on. I tore apart my room. There is too much rage inside of me! What am I supposed to do? I keep on dialing your number but then I realize the truth! I keep seeing your face but then remember your face was too messed up to even recognize. I miss you. I’ll miss everyone. I can’t go on.
Written by Michi, San Lorenzo High School