By Samuel G. Stankfoot
It’s been a tough week for Flanksteak O’Flannigan, Captain of the Plundering Bat-Fish. After what seemed like a successful plundering mission at the dreaded Forbidden Island, the faithful ship returned to sea with more than just a snazzy new monkey idol.
“We knew something was awry when we all got the same cryptic message in our cereal,” says O’Flannigan. “The marshmellows in my Plunder Puffs said we were all a bunch of jerks. Ridiculous, I say! We’re not jerks at all!”
Up until this point, all seemed perfectly fine. The crew had arrived at the Forbidden Island perfectly on time, entered the abandoned temple without incident, and successfully plundered the prized monkey idol—all while narrowly escaping precarious pitfalls and treacherous traps. Upon exodus the Bat-Fish team was flying on high, but as we know, things soon took a dramatic turn.
Just after the cereal incident, First Mate Skippy Jones Jr. began experiencing some particularly odd curse symptoms.
“For a while there I thought I was a poodle!” says Jones Jr. “I barked at the captain until he gave me kibble. Then I demanded a tick bath.”
At first the crew mistook this as normal behavior; regular tick baths are generally recom- mended for us seafaring types. The barking and walking on all fours, however, also went under the radar for a few days.
It became all too clear when the entire crew had the same nightmare, wherein they showed up to algebra class without their home- work. “We always do our homework,” says O’Flannigan. “Any claim stating otherwise is purely fraudulent. We were outraged.”
At this point the crew realized that they had no choice but to return the cursed idol to the Forbidden Island.
“Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride,” O’Flannigan says. “But it should all
be smooth sailing from here. We won’t be returning to Forbidden Island, but we push on. Forward ho, I say! to our next mission: Hex Island!”
That was a wise choice by the boys on the Bat-Fish to return that idol wasn’t it? We’re sure they had better luck on Hex Island, come find out in the latest issue of Marauder’s Monthly at 826 Valencia!