What follows is a partial list of frequently asked questions.
Some are easily answered; others not.

“Is there more furniture for sale in the basement?”

“Is this lard?”

“Is this mashed potatoes?”

“Why do you have lard?”

“It’s not really lard, is it?”

“Do you use lard for pie crusts?”

“Is the lard for making soap?”

“You grease the ropes on the ship with lard, right?”

“Does anybody really buy the lard?”

“Is anything actually for sale?”

“I’m having trouble determining which items are for sale.”

“How do you stay in business?”

“Nobody actually buys anything here, do they?”

“Okay. This has to be a front for something, right?”

“Um. Uh. What in heck is going on here?”

“Is this a gallery?”

“Is this a hardware store?”

“Oh! I get it! It’s a sailing supply shop, right?”

“Yes, but what is this place really?”

“When will you take down the pirate installation in your gallery?”

“Who’s Karl?”

“Where’s Karl?”

“When are you feeding Karl?”

“Can I feed Karl?”

(excitedly) “Ohmigod! Do you know Timothy McSweeney?”

“Is he here?”

“Is he here?”

“Where is Captain Rick’s Booty Cove located?”

“This is Captain Rick’s Booty Cove, right?” (This questioner was swiftly keelhauled.)

“Are those real eyes?”

“Can I get change for the parking meter?”

“Spare some change, ma’am?”

“Why was I mopped? Why? Why me?”