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What happens at the Store? Many have said that upon entering the best pirate supply store in San Francisco, they get a sensation of déjà vu. Others walk in and feel at once the miracle work of an unseen hand. Yet there are those whose eyes bulge and shrink simultaneously while their thoughts are so convoluted that they are unable to shout or mutter the question that most plagues them: “What is this place?” The store log is weekly account of actual events that occur in the shop, as well as testimonials, comments and complaints from our customers. June 13, 2008 Staff pick: compass! We all know that wherever you go, there you are, but what if where you are is on a leaky dingy with only an oar and your barnacle-encrusted toes to keep you company? Well, shiver me timbers if you wouldn't wish you had a compass along for the ride. Take it from someone who's been there; a compass is your best bet for getting out of wide-open oceanic and emotional spaces. -Lily June 09, 2008 These are the things I wish I could do for the four seasons. In the summer I wish I could go to the lake. In the fall I wish I could jump in a pile of leaves. In the winter I wish I could have a snowball fight with my big sister Sara. In the spring I wish I could go camping. I love the four seasons. My favorite is summer. -Alejandro Jesus Sanchez, customer June 06, 2008 Staff Pick: eyepatch Look, I know what you're thinking: "Do I really need ANOTHER eyepatch?" The answer, while unequivocably yes, is complicated. Have you considered the size of your head? The diameter of your right eye versus your left? Have you changed your color palette recently? Don't you think it's about time? I mean, seriously, weren't you weren't green and black this time three years ago? Did it even look good then? Wasn't everyone just trying to keep your feelings from getting hurt? Eye patches: it's time. -Dan June 05, 2008 There are currently four people in the store wearing black and white horizontal-striped shirts. None seem to recognize their soul-mates of color coordination or that there are similar shirts hanging on the rack behind them. Maybe this is what it's like every day working at The Gap. June 02, 2008 STYLES OF MOPINE ASCENSION -anonymous customer May 26, 2008 Page sixteen is bittersweet; My favorite drawer is number four I wish my mom would come back soon -anonymous customer May 22, 2008 I really think Rosie Barrantes summed it up well with her description of our store: "You get mopped. Buy stuff. Look at fish." Don't you? May 19, 2008 Today I watched Pirates of the Caribbean. I must admit that Jack Sparrow was an incredibly unfashionable pirate. Anyway. It was a dark and stormy night, and all the ships were at sea. And the captain said to his men: "Men! I have a story to tell you: It was a dark and stormy night, and all the ships were at sea. And the captain said to his men: 'Men! I have a story to tell you . . .'" -anonymous customer May 16, 2008 There once was a pirate from France His breeches would shine -anonymous customers May 10, 2008 Words: fervid Pirate factoid/story: Pirates wore earrings to improve their eyesight. The acupuncture point for eyesight is evidently one's earlobe. Make of this what you will. May 06, 2008 May 01, 2008 getting mopped - "why me?" -anonymous customer April 21, 2008 Tragic Sea Shanty "Ahoy, my mates! "'Come to my ship!' -anonymous customer April 16, 2008 Today we were a stop on the Yelp scavenger hunt. I was given a box of cassette tapes to hand out at my discretion. Every ten minutes or so, groups of colorfully-dressed folks would come in who I would then make barter for the hint. Highlights: April 14, 2008 April 11, 2008 Point, shoot, SNAP, FLASH! -Sara Davis, customer April 07, 2008 Mouths closed, pens down He's touching me, she stole my seat Maria and Andrew kissing in the hall Yo ho yo ho a teacher's life for me! -anonymous customer April 02, 2008 A man gave me what he called “a real pirate coin.” On closer inspection it is from the Cayman Islands. March 28, 2008 March 20, 2008 A Woman just put her baby in the vat. March 16, 2008 Today I mopped an entire group of foreign travelers (seriously, like seven of them). It is a good day. March 12, 2008 February 28, 2008 A woman came in and picked out a knot. She asked if they are available for barter. I told they were not (knot?). She then said, “Then I have a donation,” and pulled out a fossilized bit of shell. A group of kids told me bad jokes I’d heard many times, but with such conviction! Special enthusiasm was reserved for delivery of the line “we don’t allow YOUR kind here,” in no less than three jokes. February 24, 2008 A woman with a giant white parrot on her shoulder came in. Everyone was thrilled. I was not. What a terrible affliction for a pirate to suffer: fear of birds and their dead soulless eyes. Yar. Sigh. -Dan February 18, 2008 Today I mopped an entire group of foreign travelers (seriously, like seven of them). It is a good day. February 11, 2008 A group of South Korean pirate enthusiasts are impressed by the power of my ‘stache. “How long did that take you!?!” they exclaim with great gusto and curiosity. -Dan February 07, 2008 Notables: -A dramatic reading of the “who what where when why how” dice by an unwitting 8 year old. -Lily February 01, 2008 Mr Weiss informed me that Lucca, star barterer from previous entries who belted out “We’re Not Gonna Take It” in exchange for treasure, has used that very same song with him. While at first I felt betrayed by my little rocker, I realized later that that’s just what rock stars do, sing their hits in exchange for fortune and fame. In fact, Lucca probably feels pressured to give the people what they want and feels limited artistically. He probably spends all day worrying about whether his fans will follow him if he pursues his new interest in working with Eastern European rock and Argentinean percussive instruments. Poor little guy. -Isaac January 26, 2008 A little slow in opening today, I was greeted by hordes of barbarians at the gate longing to barter. Two wily Irish girls evaded my mopping attempts; one of them had an actual glass eye, all the better for evasion? January 21, 2008 |
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